Signal Fire(First Entry To A Two-Month HxH Fanfic Writing Contest)
by Clarity Jane
Summary: Given theme: DISCOVERY Summary: Pakunoda discovers bits and pieces of truth about herself during the midnight exchange. Inspired by: Snow Patrol's "Signal Fire"/a slight KuroroXPakunoda one-shot/


**Title: "Signal Fire"**

 **Given Theme: Discovery**

 **Genre(s): Romance, Drama,Tragedy, Slight KuroroXPakunoda**

 **Inspired By: "Signal Fire" by Snow Patrol (yesh, it's a song, AGAIN XD) and "Belong" by Cary Brothers**

 **Summary: Pakunoda discovers bits and pieces of truth about herself during the midnight exchange.**

 **Disclaimer(s): If I owned the (epic) characters here,I would be giving out free Mcdo food every Friday. \m/**

 **Image used here belongs to Grandpa Google, no copyright intended.**

 _ **"Love and self are one, and the discovery of either is the realization of both."**_

 _ **-Leo Buscaglia**_

* * *

Defiant brown eyes curiously whipped around to meet my flat gaze.

"Why aren't you escaping, then?"

I looked at the kid's other companion, who was already observing me with nonchalant blue eyes, hands behind his head in a laid-back posture that made me doubt momentarily, if these children _REALLY_ understand the mess they have now gotten themselves involved in.

 _To say that their scarlet-eyed friend would be hunting down our Danchou again and again as if in a "wild goose chase" is an understatement._

"You have managed to injure me, and as you might have noticed, half of my strength and defensive instincts are down. So why aren't you two kids running away and making matters easier for the chain user?"

I cast each of the children walking in front of me a stern, assertive look, further emphasizing my question.

Despite the drizzle overhead, the kid clad in green was still looking up wide-eyed at me, his hazel orbs unflinching with so much honesty I felt something within me recoil and hiss in guilt.

"Why should we, when there's completely no reason to do so?" The kid's voice sounded more innocent to my ears, if possible. "Kurapika is OUR friend. WE are his friends. And as his friend, I don't want Kurapika to kill anyone. Not anymore." He looked at the weary path before us for a minute then turned around again to meet my narrowed eyes-a sign I was not satisfied with his sentimental answer.

The kid tilted his head at me, undeterred. "Friends care for each other. Friends PROTECT each other. Friends stand by each other. And not even terrible circumstances like THIS should and could change that!" Eyes lit up with determination, he then looked at his silver-haired companion who was sporting the usual pout I've often noticed him with, sighing sofly as if this dreary midnight exchange was boring him to death.

"Gon's right on that," the other kid spoke in an I-couldn't-care-less manner. Hands still tucked behind his head, his cat-like eyes stared sideways at me. "That's why we're on in this exchange. Makes things easier too. Especially for Kurapika." The kid mumbled the last sentence impassively, but seeing how his cat-like eyes gleamed with the same emotion as his companion, another recoiling sensation wormed its way through my stomach.

And this time, I did not speak again. Nor did I have the heart to.

 **X-X-X-X**

The scarlet-eyed chain user never failed to rightfully deliver his promises, a trait I would have applauded if my heart wasn't beating alongside his Judgment Chain, poised to pierce me at any given time.

The soft click-clack of my pink flat shoes against the pavement filled with water puddles were lost beneath the thunder that boomed overhead. Despite my sharp eyesight, the bright neon lights and electronic billboards never failed to strain my vision. I looked away from the usual hustle and bustle of Yorknew City, a place so vast, so alive, so different from the city I came from.

"Meow,"a soft purr resounded in the still silence, halting my footsteps.

"Meow, meow" lingered the soft purr again, now sounding nearer to where I stood. Tilting my head in quiet fascination, I bent down and waited until an adorable white kitten appeared a few steps away from me. Making a gentle come-hither gesture, I smiled as I watched the kitten run into my arms without any hesitation.

"Meow! Meow...meow." The tiny, fluffy fur ball of a kitten buried itself into my chest, cuddling in contentment as I cooed down appreciatively at it before completely standing up and resuming the walk home.

Shadows overlapped with shadows as I made a turn right around the corner. I focused my eyes on the ripples forming within every puddle I step on, willing myself to resist marvelling the beauty of the midnight sky: a mannerism I usually have whenever in deep thought. Not even a lone star shone tonight and the darkness around me remained all the more apparent: a heart-clenching resemblance to his onyx eyes, indeed.

 ** _"Paku."_**

 ** _Sitting carefree on the edge of a boulder overlooking everything below him, was Danchou. Raven hair carelessly falling down, bangs slightly revealing traces of his cross tattoo, the expression on his alabaster face never looked so youthful, so full of life with unspeakable hopes and dreams. The sun was beginning to set, its mystical gleam reflected in Danchou's dark eyes._**

 ** _"Danchou," I began, smiling in wonder at him. "I-"_**

"Meow." The kitten in my arms stirred with an energetic jolt, suddenly jumping down from my arms and wagging its tail ever so slowly as if asking me to follow behind. I followed the elated kitten's lead, unable to stop the smile slowly spreading on my lips.

I found myself in an abandoned playground that somehow appeared untouched by the thunderstorm. Another "meow" was heard, which successively mingled with another purr. Another. And another.

"Meow," the white kitten in front of me was now running towards a clowder of cats, purring one last time in my direction. Nodding as a mother would whenever consenting a child's request, I let my lips fall into a wistful smile again.

"Meow," I managed to echo, despite the conflicting emotions that were gradually overwhelming me with its unanswerable intensity.

 _Welcome home._ I thought, serenity enveloping my usually expressionless face.

I let my feet take me away, but not before sparing a peaceful glance at the onyx-colored cat perched on a platform higher than the others.

 _Welcome home to the place where your friends are._

 **X-X-X-X**

Machi crossed her arms upon seeing my arrival at the poorly-lit hide-out. Whether from concern due to my drenched purple suit clinging like second skin or from irritation due to my slow pace in walking when everybody's almost biting their nails in anticipation of what happened to Danchou and me, I couldn't tell.

"Where is Danchou?" Phinks was the first to speak, voice barely retaining his fury at how the majority of the Troupe merely agreed without a protest to the chain-user's conditions.

"Danchou is not coming," I replied, head held high as I gripped my gun within my right hand.

"A gun?" Phinks noted, scanning my rigid stance with slight surprise. "Stop joking around! You better explain EVERYTHING that is happening here. Now. And if I don't find your explanation believable or satisfying, I am going to make you fully regret it."

Cracking his knuckles, I knew Phinks' threat was no jest.

"Danchou is not coming back here anymore," I repeated, closing my eyes as if not even a single matter is bothering me at the moment, when my pounding heart, which sounded awfully reminiscent of a chains' metal clanging, was all I could make sense of.

Readying my gun, I continued to speak. "All right, then. Leave everything to this."

 _I could only fire six memory bullets this instant. Six memory bullets for the six members this Troupe originally started with._

"Feitan." I called out, pleased that my steely voice did not waver with any trace of my real emotions. "Phinks. Machi. Nobunaga. Shalnark. Franklin." The tell-tale chock of my Recollection Bullets now securely loaded onto the gun made everyone's eyes widen with disbelief. "Believe in me. Will you take it?"

Opening my closed eyes, I eyed their stupefied expressions with dead serious intensity, missing not even a single beat. "Will you _all_ take it?"

 _For me?_

"It can't be...," Machi whispered, her wide eyes betraying her usual stoic facade. "Paku!"

 _For the Troupe?_

"O-oi!" Phinks shouted at me, completely taken aback by the sudden escalation of events. "That chain-user has really gotten into _that_ head and controlled you, didn't-"

 _For Danchou?_

"Phinks!" Nobunaga firmly interrupted our fellow Spider's outburst. "Believe in her." With half of his face shadowed by the darkness of the hide-out, Nobunaga nodded in my direction. "She is the real Paku."

 _For Danchou._

A gust of warm air swept through the hide-out. Narrowing my eyes intently, I fired away, expertly drilling the six bullets into their foreheads. The deafening sound of simultaneous gun shots pulsated through the walls, rattling my bones as I watched my fellow Spiders get lost in the memories that would be theirs to discover and take...and for me to leave behind.

 _ **"You will soon discover, you will soon learn along the way that it's not, it's never the individual we value. It's the Spider. It's the Spider that must live on."**_

I breathed out a shaky sigh of relief, closing my eyes.

 ** _"Another condition I want to set is that you are forbidden to talk about anything regarding me to anyone, especially to your fellow Spiders."_**

The clinking sound of metal chains reverberated in my head and out of instinct, I opened my eyes.

 _ **"Do you find these conditions acceptable, Pakunoda?"**_

Materializing in the darkness, the metallic chains began to hum their song of weight and steel, of imprisonment and judgment.

 _ **"Defy yourselves. Defy me. But never the Troupe."**_

Huffing, I silently pray that my realization, this little discovery of mine, would be enough for all of us.

 _ **"Remember this, Pakunoda."**_

Because looking back, I never belonged to the Spider.

 _ **"All of you belong to the Spider."**_

 _I belonged to you._

 _ **"You always had."**_

I let my hand fall.

 _I've always had._

 _ **"And you always will."**_

I let my gun fall.

 _And I always will._

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** _And there it goes, I'm finally done with my fanfic entry for a two-month HxH fanfic writing contest on FB. From 10 pm to 3 am, whew. And yesh, to my previous readers who read "What A Wonderful World", my first ever contest entry, I have good news: I won that fanfic writing contest, hihihi! ***cue party beat drops and wild hooting*** **XD X)**_

 _I'm still wondering what would have happened if I uploaded the ORIGINAL version, the violent, gory version... might have been banned, for sho! **XD**_

 _I swear to God, I found this hard to write. I was staring at the laptop's screen for two days with nothing to type at all (I don't make rough drafts or plan carefully, I just go at it, tbh **XD** ), I'm pretty sure our electric bill's higher/more expensive this time compared to the previous month. **XD**_

 _But reading the mechanics for this contest,I instantly thought of Pakunoda and Kuroro in a snap and that dramatic episode 52 (did I get that right, lol **XD** ), then Snow Patrol's "Signal Fire" song. And while I don't ship these two AT ALL (I'm a sucker for fem Kurapika and Kuroro, gomen **XP** ), I've always liked experimenting with how I can effectively put myself in a character's shoes and stuff. Let's just hope I didn't fail and make everyone in here OOC. **X)**_

 _I uploaded this story here because I felt like there was a slim chance of winning this contest I'm currently joining. No, REALLY: the winners are determined by Likes and I'm almost a nobody there, maybe even a newbie compared to the other contestants who so know each other for the longest time. But who cares, right? At least I did what I love to do: writing! Shipping! Not sleeping! **XD**_

 _Arigatou gozaimasu for reading, Hunters! **:")))**_


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